Thursday, September 24, 2009

To Catch a Thief

Posted September 24, 2009

This past weekend, Hector and I went with our friends Johan and Celeste to the Utah State Fair. To be honest I don't know how I feel about fairgrounds in the city...I'm not really used to that. Also, I am not used to paying for parking at the fair.

My favorite things about the fair:

1. The giant cow.

2. Baby cows.

3. Dippin' Dots. I honestly have not had dippin' dots for years. Maybe because they cost more than a gallon of ice cream.

My least favorite thing about the fair:

1. Being accused of stealing rings from a booth. Wanna hear more? I knew you would.

We were wrapping up our affair at the fair and were making our way around the last stretch of stands when I saw a jewelry stand that caught my eye. I took a special interest in the rings but none of them looked good on my fingers or fit my tiny hands. We moved on.

Hector and I caught up to Celeste and Johan who were a couple of booths away when this Indian man came up to me and asked me to come with him.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Could you please come with me," he replied.

"...excuse me?" I echoed.

"I am missing some rings from my stand," he said.

With a sure knowledge that I did not take his rings (they didn't even look good on me), I followed him back to his stand. As soon as I got there he and his lady friend began to verbally accost me and accuse me of stealing their jewelry. He pointed out the empty slots in the midst of the rings and told me that I had stolen them. Keep in mind that he did not see me steal the rings, he had no evidence, and that their had been two other ladies (shady carni characters) perusing at the rings at the same time I was.

Hector, Johan, and Celeste were by my side. The booth keepers told me that they were going to call security over to search me. In the meantime we debated our case, reminding them that I had not been the only one at the stand throughout the evening and that there were empty ring slots while I was looking at the rings. They started to get really nasty, so I decided to take matters in to my own hands to prove my innocence.

I carry a large purse. I dumped that large purse out all over that man's jewelry display. I pulled out all the stops; emptied all of the pockets. I did not hesitate to dribble feminine products all over the place. This did not please him. I took my jacket off and threw it down. I pulled all of my pockets out. He was not convinced, so I then proceeded to take of my shoes and put them on his table. He was irate at this and said that all of this was not necessary.

I then asked him, "Well, what do you want me to do?"
He and his lady friend and some acquired white trash from the stand attached to theirs, said that they wanted security to come take a look. All the while they had done nothing to call security over.

I was putting all of my stuff back in my purse and a ring accidentally popped out while I was doing so and the lady friend started screaming at me, accusing me of attempting to steal again. I was not happy. I fired back at her and told her that I was not stupid and asked her why I would be dense enough to try and steal a ring at a time like this, with all eyes on me.

I was furious. Hector was furious. Johan was arguing with the white man at the stand with a red neck and that man began using inappropriate language with him. Totally inappropriate for a family venue. We were fed up and asked if security was coming. They had still not called. Then the man gave up and said never mind.

What a great time we had. I think we deserved a refund.


  1. Oh honey. I really wish I could have been there to see you dumping your things all over their stand. I miss your attitude.